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I’m Fat. Sooo… All I Care About is That I’m Not Fuckable?

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Remember that “comedian” chick that “made fun of” fat people recently? Yeah. So I was browsing Laci Green’s vids, cuz she’s my absolute fave, and was interested in her vid about jokes. I thought it was only gonna be about rape jokes. But she mentions fat jokes and talks about all offensive jokes as a whole. I was ecstatic.

I’m fat. Ever since puberty hit, I’ve been fat. So my fave youtuber ever made a response, though not directly, to all those fat shamers. I wrote a comment thanking her for making the vid. I mentioned that I was a fat woman. A couple days later, I see a response to my comment. It’s the comment you see in the screenshot above. If you don’t remember what he said, please take a second to re-read it.

There are so many reasons this asshole is an idiot. First of all, he assumes that my problem with my weight (if I had one, hows he to know?) is solely the fact that men don’t find me attractive. Before my bf came around, that was only a small part of the problem. Very small. Like, before I met LR, I figured guys who judged me on my weight were at a loss. Cuz I already knew I’d be a great partner.

My problem is SOCIETY. Every person, male or female, who fat shames. Because those fat shamers don’t help with my own struggle to love my fat body. They shame other people for being different and “disgusting.” They don’t know the fat person’s story. What’s going on in his/her life. What’s going on in his/her BODY. Every body is different.

Then he thinks that all I care about is being fucked by men. What if I was bi or gay? But I’m not so I’ll just leave that.

As it happens, I’m very uncomfortable with sex. So the idea that I crave to be fucked by every guy in the whole world is kinda contradicting.

Also, as it happens, I do have a boyfriend who fucks me whenever we get the chance. Why would I want to be fucked by anyone else? Especially considering my boyfriend is intelligent enough to know that what’s inside my fat body is a million times more important. And evolved enough to love what’s inside my fat body a million times more than said fat body. So, again, why would I want anyone else to fuck me?

Finally, he seems to think I want to kill or castrate all men. That’s kinda a stupid belief, because doing so would kinda ruin the whole reproduction and species survival things :/…

Anyway, where did he get all these assumptions about me? Because all I did was inform Laci that I’m fat and, as a fat woman, really appreciate the video.

Wtf?

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Posted by on September 22, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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You’re a Survivor

First of all, I know, I know, I know. It’s been forEVAR since I posted. Sorry. But this is on my mind right now, at 4:30am, and I can’t sleep, anyway. So, here it is.

So, I know this woman who was attacked maybe a year and a half ago or so. When she told me about it a couple months ago, she said something that worried me. And I wish I had said something then, but I think I might print this out and have her read it when she’s alone. If anyone reading this thinks that’s a good idea, let me know in the comments after reading. Or if you think it’s a bad idea. Just let me know your thoughts.

Anyway, she said, “Yeah, it’s embarrassing, but…” I thought, ‘Embarrassing? Oh, sweetie.’ See, you gotta see how I view it. This woman has survived what many people have not. She is thriving, yes, thriving in spite of what happened to her. And so are you, reader. You are stronger than you were before. Look how far you’ve come from that horrible act done upon you. Look how much you’ve succeeded in bringing yourself back to normalcy. No, you will never be the same as before. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t going back to normalcy.

As an outsider and an acquaintance, it looks like this woman has already come back to normalcy. In just a year! That’s unbelievable, imo. I never would have guessed that she had ever experienced that. It’s something to celebrate.

I was never physically attacked. But I was emotionally destroyed. Long story short, I was made to see my entire future burn before my eyes (metaphorically). And was told, “It’s not burning. It’s going in a different direction.” Bullshit. My world came crashing down and I fell into depression and overeating. It’s been three years and I’m still not back to normalcy. My meds still aren’t fully figured out and I’m fat as fuck.

But, I am a survivor. Like you, I have fought against the desire to hurt myself. The desire to treat myself like shit. We’re not perfect at it, I know. We have bad days. We have days where we break our stand and give up. But, if you’re reading this, know that we have never given up entirely. You and I, us survivors, we’ve made it through this far. You may have a long way to go, but look how far you’ve come.

I hope these words have helped you, reader. And I think they may help the woman I know. But I don’t want to dig up the past on her, either. If she’s embarrassed, she might be embarrassed to know that I think about it, and her, every now and again. BUT I’m a nice person and that niceness inside me just wants spill over and give her something to smile about. To help her change her view about herself, maybe. Idk, what do you guys think?

PS, if you ever need someone to talk to, e-mail me. laitiegrl@hotmail.com. It may take me a while to get back to you, but I will.

 
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Posted by on June 3, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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