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Tag Archives: family

Why I’m Covering My Hair Tomorrow

Cover Your Locks for Love

I’m not Jewish. Nor am I married. But I asked my Jewish friend, and was assured that I could still do this for her father, Yakov Ezra ben Regina. Her family is Jewish, and her father has been in a coma for almost two years. As I lay in bed trying to sleep, and thinking about how to make work let me do this, the nay-saying part of my brain came up with some pretty good questions.

Do you believe this will help?
I don’t really know.

Do you believe in the religion?
I mean, I don’t know enough about it. But I respect it.

How can this help if you don’t believe in it?
I hope it does help. If not, it doesn’t hurt to do something this harmless when someone you care about believes it will. But I really, really hope it’ll help.

She didn’t ask YOU to do it. It’s for married, Jewish women. Besides, covering your hair is totally against what YOU believe in, isn’t it?
I don’t know if it’s against what I believe in as a feminist. BUT I’m doing it in honor and out of respect for her, her father, and the Jewish community. And I’m partly hoping that it’ll start a conversation and make people aware of, not only a man in need of prayers, but of acceptance and embrace-ment of other cultures, religions, beliefs, etc.

You never even met him.
I don’t have to. He’s M’s father. He raised a wonderful woman. And they both deserve to spend more time together and with her brother.

All in all, this is all about Yakov Ezra ben Regina. I want him to get well. And I will do all I can to honor and help that man. Readers, I ask you to pray for him. In whatever way you pray, whomever you pray to, please, include him in your prayers. Thank you.

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Posted by on June 19, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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E for Entertainment, F for Family, G for God

I’m doing awful with a-z this year D:. I barely have time to write my own blogs! Let alone go to other people’s! D:. I’m so sorry! I’m going to go to commenters’ blogs as soon as I possibly can, I promise!

E for Entertainment. This may be my ADD, but I almost always have to be entertained. Until recently, though, that was always super-easy. Until recently, when in doubt, I could always just close my eyes (or stare off in the distance) and daydream. I was always daydreaming. My stories, my future, even things that might happen as soon as later that day. This ability of mine was very helpful, especially because at work, I spend most of my time standing around waiting for customers. And on weekdays, business can be pretty slow.

Sadly, however, I seem to have lost this daydreaming ability. I’m hoping it’s because, A) my ADD meds seem to no longer be working, and/or B) I have nothing to daydream about. I’m reading historical fiction currently, and it doesn’t inspire much daydreaming out of me. And my future? Doesn’t look too promising right now :/. So I avoid thinking about it.

So what do I do? I read. Or listen to my book. When you get the kindle version of your book and the audible, your devices will keep track of where you left off on each version. So, for example, I can read half of chapter one, then skip right into listening to the other half. It’s fantastic!

F for Family. Family is numero uno in my life. Even before God. Sorry, but that’s how it is. People say that Asperger’s usually comes down in the family genes. Well, I can’t figure out where my Asperger’s came from. Neither of my parents show any signs. The only thing my mom has is that she moisturizes her hands once in a while with the Aveeno. I don’t think that’s anything.

We have a dog. A Lassie dog. I love to pet him. And I love him, of course. My counselor suggested petting him when I want to eat, to see if it’ll help curb my cravings. Didn’t work, but it was a good thought. Because I love petting the dog.

G for God. Basically, my religion post. Short and sweet, though. My dad grew up Lutherin, my mom Roman Catholic. My dad “converted” so that they could marry, and we were raised Roman Catholic. But, of course, my dad still had his Lutherin influence.

I’m excited to have my own kids for many, many reasons. One is so that, when I’m comforting them, I can finally say something like, “God will provide.” Because no one believes in God. So I can’t comfort anyone with that, when it would actually bring me a lot of comfort. My dad’s God speeches always made me feel better. Because I believe. When I have my own kids, I can raise them however I want. So I can tell them, “God will provide.”

But I don’t agree with most of the Bible or churches or whatever. I have my own belief system that is still Christianity and I like it how it is. BTW, I’m only a Christian because of Mary. I’m not too big on the Jesus thing, but I feel close to Mary and just can’t let her go :/. Lol.

Thanks for reading!

 
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Posted by on April 8, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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Public Apology

This is a public apology for the things I said about my boyfriend’s family in my last post. I was completely disrespectful and being very unfair. For some reason I am unsure of, I was dead set on antagonizing them in my life. But reading his comment on my post, which you should do if you read my last post, made me realize what I was doing and how wrong I was. I am sorry.

 
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Posted by on February 23, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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I’m Making My Boyfriend Fat

This was going to be, “I Hate My Boyfriend’s Mother,” and I’m going to get to that, but then I started getting down on myself.

L’s family is really big on healthy eating. And, well, I’m most definitely not. Not that I don’t want to be. I’m just super picky. And I struggle greatly to control myself. Especially since I got depression. (Yes, I -got- depression. I wasn’t depressed before or during most of college). I have noticed that since we started dating seven and half months ago, he’s developed a little gut. But I didn’t care in the least. Besides, I quite like guts.

But L’s parents have noticed, too. And they’re getting on his case about it. Now I’m getting concerned. Is it really that big a deal? Do other people notice, too? Do his coworkers? Does the public? Is he going to get even bigger because I’m encouraging him too much to eat just like me? Not that I care if he’s big or small, trust me on that. I just don’t want him to feel what I feel. I don’t want his parents to treat him the way they treat me behind my back. Except it won’t be behind his back. And it’ll be worse. And it’ll be all my fault.

Besides, being healthy is a good thing. And I’m making his unhealthy. That’s bad. :(.

I hate his parents. I hate his parents. I. Hate. His. Parents.

They came up with some bullshit today that he has an obligation to his family and should eat dinner with them.

He’s 28 years old.

He has no obligation to them beyond chores because he lives in their house.

He’s in that house all the time, cleaning it from top to bottom, doing laundry, doing dishes, while no one else lifts a fuckin finger. Excuse him if he wants to go have dinner with his girlfriend who doesn’t like the fish you guys are having. And who would refuse to eat with you anyway because you treat both of us like shit. I know they think I’m shit because I’m fat, I’m taking him away from them, and am making him fat.

My counselor told me that my eating habits should be none of my parents’ business, because I’m 24 years old. If that’s true, then that goes for L’s parents, too. If he wants to match my eating habits, that’s none of their freakin’ business. They have no right to say anything about anything about his eating or weight.

But I still feel bad I’m making my boyfriend fat and unhealthy just like me :(.

 
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Posted by on February 23, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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Dinner at My Boyfriend’s Family’s

I was invited to a dinner thing my boyfriend, L’s, mother was throwing. So I head over after work. I’m the first one there, so when the next guest arrives, I go to help L control the dogs and open the door.

What’s the first thing L’s mom’s friend, K, says to me? “Have you lost weight?”

Seriously? My weight is that important to you? That it’s the first thing you notice and feel the need to comment on? The first thing you can think of to say to me? My weight?

But whatever. It gets better.

For some reason L and I were not immediately socializing with everyone. So when we walk into the kitchen, what are L’s mom and K talking about? Weight loss.

Seriously?

…Seriously???

There are soooooo many things in the world to be talking about, and you’re talking about weight loss in front of me? No one even tried to change the subject, either. They just kept blabbing away about what has worked for this person or that person. Oh, and this worked for L’s mom, A. Because everything’s so fuckin easy peasy for A. Just do this and this and don’t do this and you’re good.

My mom tried to tell me to let it go. That it didn’t mean anything. Well, it fuckin meant something to me. It hurt. A lot. There’s so much more to people than their weight, but that’s all they care about. They don’t even know half the shit I go through in my head every day. How impossible it is to deny my super-hunger and cravings, especially on top of everything else I deal with.

And y’know what? I treat A’s son like fuckin gold. Because I want to and he deserves it. That should be all that anyone cares about.

 
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Posted by on December 27, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Talking about My Passions

I was on tumblr and saw a couple posts about talking to people about your passions. One talked about how sad it was that girls don’t usually do it without apologizing a lot because someone once told them that nobody cared. No one ever told me that nobody cared. No, I just knew that nobody cared. Because I grew up knowing no one liked what I liked. That I was a freak. Even among friends with the same interests, they didn’t offer time for me to go on some rave about what I liked or cared about. And to be honest, I didn’t really listen to them, either.

I remember one day, I was talking to someone about an original chacter of mine. I was so excited about her, but then I suddently stopped. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I get a little over-excited.” The woman I was talking to said I shouldn’t be sorry. She talked about how my eyes lit up and how wonderful it was.

I try to remember that, but I still don’t think anyone cares much. I never even bring anything up. I figure my book ideas, or explanations at least, are boring and people don’t want to hear about it. No one likes what I like. No one cares. People don’t want to hear it. They’re just being polite listening to me like they are.

So I guess that’s why I got used to keeping my stories inside. I don’t have this need to share my stories. I have no issue keeping them to myself. I am literally sharing them just because I want to profit from them. In more ways than one, of course. I want to actually be good at something. I want to believe that people actually do care about what I like and care about. I want a reason to rave about a character of my own. But if it were utterly impossible for me to do this, I wouldn’t be all too miserable about it. If I weren’t able to write . . . Well, maybe I would explode because I have so many feelings and opinions. But creatively? I’d be fine. Daydreaming gives me enough satisfaction.

Anyways, do you feel like you can share your passions with people? What stops you?

 
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Posted by on December 26, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Work and My Parents

I need to talk about the bullshit that happens at my work and how my parents tell me to deal with it.

I don’t deal with too much awful shit with my co-workers. Things could be worse. They could be a lot worse. But I’d be lying if I said things were peachy with me and all my co-workers. Off the top of my head, I can name three that really piss me off. Lately, K has really gotten on my nerves.

Now, I’ve been naughty. I’ve been waiting until my last fifteen minutes of my shift to take my fifteen minute break. I don’t leave. I hang around until the end of my shift. Oooh, I’m such a delinquent(sp?). This really pisses K off. Why, I don’t know. But she really gets on my case about it.

So what does K do? She goes to a manager and, luckily, without mentioning my name, asks if we’re allowed to do that. EXCUSE ME!? THAT’S NONE OF HER BUSINESS TO DO! It doesn’t even affect her!

And then she’s all “I’ll let you do it this time, but next time . . .” Oh, so now you’re going to boss me around, too?

That was her third strike. She’s done shit like this before. So I was pissed off my ass and went to the assistant store manager. I admitted what I had done, and asked to her to talk to K about her big-ass mouth. Because I’m not going to stand for K going around spreading MY business around. The asm agrees with me and promises to talk to her about it. And I promise not to wait until the last fifteen minutes of my shift to take my break anymore.

Now, I’m cooled down, but I’m still in a bit of a pissy mood. So I go to my parents looking for a little sympathy, right? Now, I really don’t think I’m gonna get it, knowing them. But I give them the benefit of the doubt. I start with my mom. What does she say? “People are like that. You gotta deal with it and be careful.”

So I don’t even bother with my dad. My mom tells my dad, so he ends up giving me advice anyway. “People see your happiness and get jealous and try their hardest to destroy it any way they can. It’s human nature.”

Human nature my ass. It ain’t in my nature.

I love my parents, I really do. But, God!

 
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Posted by on November 18, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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