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I’m Gonna Lose My Job (Again?)

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I mean, I kinda say this on a daily basis. “I’m going to get fired today.” But for good reason. I have reached my limit of taking bullshit. Mostly at work. Mostly with bosses and co-workers. Most recently, my immediate boss. She hasn’t even been in our store a year, but she got the job over me, who has been there for over three years. OK, OK, she has experience being in that position. Whatever.

In our store, we have this one register, home fashions, that gets few to no customers. So we sometimes just leave it closed/locked. If you’re the one scheduled to be at that register for the day, but there is no floater to cover lunches, then it’s your job to lock up the registers and cover lunches. Simple as that. It’s been that way the whole time I’ve been there. Well, one day, I was scheduled to be at that register, and there was no floater for lunches. My boss, R, called me on the work phone and said, “I know I didn’t say it on the [control/schedule] sheet, but you cover lunches today, OK?”

…Seriously? I’ve been here a shitton longer than you. I KNOW my fucking job.

OK, OK, that’s not too awful bad. But she does this shit all the time. Directing us and telling us what to do when we already know what the fuck to do.

The other day, I had a customer issue that I literally could not solve with my status as lowly little cashier. I needed a manager to handle it. So, I called a manager over. She calls the phone and asks what the problem is, etc. I can’t explain it very well because I have a line. She goes, “can’t you solve it yourself?”

…Now I’m pissed. I’ve been here over three years doing the same thing the whole time. If I could solve it myself, YES, I would fucking solve it myself. I’ve solved many a complicated issue in my time. On top of that, you’re my manager. If I need you, you fucking COME  OVER, no questions asked. That’s your job.

Oh, but it gets better.

We have this new girl, A. She’s naturally shy and anxious, and she took this job to improve her social skills and confidence. At the beginning of her FOURTH week (two of which were training), R goes up to her and says something along the lines of “Are you comfortable pitching credit? Because if you’re not, I need to know so I can schedule other people.” Are you fucking shitting me? This poor HIGH SCHOOL girl is working so hard to improve her shyness and come out of her shell, and you threaten to cut her hours because she’s STILL practicing pitching credit with confidence? That’s NOT how you encourage your cashiers to perform.

And now the icing on the cake. That’s right, R LIED to me.

The other day, one of the registers started massively slowing down. So I turned it off and turned it back on. On the first or second transaction, it started slowing down again. So I got a hold of R. She told me to turn it off and then back on again. I told her I already did and it still did this. So she told me to close it down properly for the rest of the day. I did. My back was turned helping a member, and when I was done, the bad computer had been TURNED BACK ON!!!

My other co-worker, Ax, told me that she thought R did it, because she was sure that neither she nor A had. Because all four of us had been at the register area. So, I’m fuming, and I made a HUGE-ASS sign. The one you see above. Laughed my ass off. Customer accused me of having weed. All good fun.

I then got to talk to A again. She told me that she saw R turn the computer back on. So now I’m furious.

Finally, R sees the sign. She asked me, “Who did that?.”

“Me.”

“Why?”

“Because someone turned it back on.”

“Who?”

I’ll let that sink in.

WHO?

WHO!!???

YOU, YOU FUCKING CUNT!!! DON’T GO AROUND TRYING TO LIE TO ME!!!!

OK, so. I have gone to the store manager twice about her. She forces us to go on 15-minute breaks when she tells us to. She plays favorites. K and Q take, oh, hour long lunch breaks. Half-hour 15s. She doesn’t bat an eye. I take a 15 right after my lunch (which no one had ever, ever told me was not allowed), and she yells at me. And not for the real reason you’re not supposed to do that. Because “they have to go in order.” Whoever went to lunch first takes their 15 first. Which is total bs because no one else gives a single fuck who goes on their 15 when. And, no, it is not an actual rule. It’s a “her” rule.

K often takes her lunch last, but she is the first to leave for the day. An hour before everyone else. How fucked up is that? Just because she gets tons of credits and is spoiled as shit and always gets her way. Oh, let’s not forget she’s late almost every fucking morning. She just likes taking her lunch late.

The store manager just brushes all my complaints aside. The first time, he said he would talk to her. That was at least a month ago, if not longer. Nothing has changed.

Every single thing that I have been told is expected of me coming into her position at a different store, she does the complete opposite. God forbid she ever have to cover any of her cashiers for any sort of break, or check out any customers out unless she can tell just by looking at them that they’ll get credits. I swear to God. She takes most weekends off, when we need her the most. Most holidays, she’s off.

I have had enough. I am literally about to blow up at R almost every single day I see her. Which is why I’m about to lose my job pretty much every single day. The store manager is NO help.

So, what did I do? Why might I lose my job even on my day off?

🙂

I called my store manager’s boss.

He’s coming to the store next week.

I can’t fucking wait.

🙂

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Posted by on October 13, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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Power?

My counselor made an interesting point in our session today. Sometimes, when people are angry because they have no control over the situation, they go try to do something they do have control over. How does this translate to me? Let me elaborate.

I was in a situation with the assistant store manager where he pissed me off. What did I do about it? Absolutely nothing. Nada. Zilch. I didn’t do anything. How could I? He’s my boss. I had no control over the situation. Just let him make his snide comments and berate me. This happens all the time. I get angry at the higher-ups. But there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. So what do I do to get control over a situation? I shop.

When I’m shopping, I’m using my money to buy my things. The customer is always right, so I have the power in a me-shopping situation.

I don’t wanna think about myself doing something as low as looking for power. But it could be true. I could be that low. I mean, I’m struggling so much with all the basic things. Basic emotions, basic chores. I still haven’t done my laundry, yet. I’m trying to talk into it right now. The stupid yawning isn’t helping.

Anyway. I realize there are lots of times I imagine having the power when I feel like I never will. And I never do. I always cave in and let the other person take over. It’s just easier. I hate confrontation. Usually because I think too slowly to take control of the situation. But as a shopper, it doesn’t matter how long it takes me to think. I’m still the boss.

So it can’t just be that shopping makes me happy. Because lots of times it doesn’t make me happy immediately. I’m often upset at spending the money that I don’t have. I’m not happy until later when there’s nothing more I can really do about it, anyway. There has to be more to it.

My counselor told me to let my anger out creatively. See, you might not believe it knowing me, but I have a lot of anger. I never show it. I was taught that it was wrong to do so. I was shamed for doing it. So my counselor told me to let it out in a short story. A story where the character representing me takes control of the situation. Kicks the other person’s ass. Stuff like that. Sounds good to me.

How do you let out your anger? Were you ever told that it’s wrong to let it out? Were you ever shamed for doing so?

 
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Posted by on February 10, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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