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A is for Abilify

Abilify saved my life.

It saved my academic career.

So it saved my life.

The day Depression reared its ugly head, I had woken up unable to care enough about anything to do anything. I struggled with that for two-three days. Only barely managing to make it to class. Then I took Abilify. Oh, my God, the next morning I was actually happy again. And definitely able to do my homework.

But now?

I’m fat. So very fat. Fatter than I’ve ever been before. My doctor thinks it’s the Abilify. I want to blame the Abilify. But I don’t think I can. All I really do is eat and eat and eat. Just like I used to do before college. But now it’s more. I think because of the depression. But hopefully, if I go off the Abilify–which will happen soon–I’ll lose weight. I hope.

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12 Comments

Posted by on April 1, 2014 in A-Z

 

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B for Bed

First, I would like to thank EVERYONE for all the likes, comments, and follows on my last post! I really appreciate your words and actions of encouragement! Thank you!

Ever since I fell into my hole of Depression, my bed has been my best friend (on and off). I even wrote a poem about my bed. Wanna read it?

My Bed
You know me
better than anyone else
You know why I cry
You know why I eat

You take my tears
You take my crumbs
in your serene silence

You don’t judge
You don’t scold
You don’t give your opinion
You just hug

You let me spend
all day with you
safe in your embrace

You’re the only one
I can rely on
The only one
that is a true support

I’m safe in your arms
From judgement and misery
Safe and sound

with you.

What’d ya think? I dunno, I like it. Anyways . . .

So, that’s how much my bed means to me, now. At school, my bed was like my life. I did everything on it: slept, watched TV/movies, surfed the web, read, played games on my tablet, did homework, etc. -Everything-. My desk was too much of a mess to do anything with.

At home, I don’t spend much time in my room. I grew up being downstairs, so that’s what I do. I spend the day downstairs. But lately, I’ve been spending much more time in my bed than I should be, even with spending the day downstairs/out of the house. Just this morning I woke up at my normal time (6:30/7:00ish), had breakfast with my family (it’s a nice thing we don’t do all the time), got dressed, went on the computer a little bit, then went back to bed. In case I’m being to vague here, going -back- to bed is very unusual unless I have a day off of work, which I didn’t. I’ve been so tired lately, and today was especially hard. (I drank a 5 Hour Energy and an Amp at the same time. Am I gonna die?)

What about you? How much does your bed mean to you? Whether you have Depression or not?

 
1 Comment

Posted by on April 2, 2013 in A-Z, Creative Writing, Depression

 

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A for Abilify

Yup. That’s my drug. It saved my academic career.

When I was diagnosed with Depression, my doctor and I agreed we needed something that worked fast. He threw me on Abilify. That stuff worked immediately. With all the side-effects. But those went away. I know it could have been the placebo effect, but it really didn’t feel like it.

I would not recommend this process to anyone. It is the wrong way to go about these things. But, dear God, it worked wonderful for me. I love you Abilify. Never leave my life.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on April 1, 2013 in A-Z, Depression

 

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