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I’m Making My Boyfriend Fat

23 Feb

This was going to be, “I Hate My Boyfriend’s Mother,” and I’m going to get to that, but then I started getting down on myself.

L’s family is really big on healthy eating. And, well, I’m most definitely not. Not that I don’t want to be. I’m just super picky. And I struggle greatly to control myself. Especially since I got depression. (Yes, I -got- depression. I wasn’t depressed before or during most of college). I have noticed that since we started dating seven and half months ago, he’s developed a little gut. But I didn’t care in the least. Besides, I quite like guts.

But L’s parents have noticed, too. And they’re getting on his case about it. Now I’m getting concerned. Is it really that big a deal? Do other people notice, too? Do his coworkers? Does the public? Is he going to get even bigger because I’m encouraging him too much to eat just like me? Not that I care if he’s big or small, trust me on that. I just don’t want him to feel what I feel. I don’t want his parents to treat him the way they treat me behind my back. Except it won’t be behind his back. And it’ll be worse. And it’ll be all my fault.

Besides, being healthy is a good thing. And I’m making his unhealthy. That’s bad. :(.

I hate his parents. I hate his parents. I. Hate. His. Parents.

They came up with some bullshit today that he has an obligation to his family and should eat dinner with them.

He’s 28 years old.

He has no obligation to them beyond chores because he lives in their house.

He’s in that house all the time, cleaning it from top to bottom, doing laundry, doing dishes, while no one else lifts a fuckin finger. Excuse him if he wants to go have dinner with his girlfriend who doesn’t like the fish you guys are having. And who would refuse to eat with you anyway because you treat both of us like shit. I know they think I’m shit because I’m fat, I’m taking him away from them, and am making him fat.

My counselor told me that my eating habits should be none of my parents’ business, because I’m 24 years old. If that’s true, then that goes for L’s parents, too. If he wants to match my eating habits, that’s none of their freakin’ business. They have no right to say anything about anything about his eating or weight.

But I still feel bad I’m making my boyfriend fat and unhealthy just like me :(.

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1 Comment

Posted by on February 23, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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One response to “I’m Making My Boyfriend Fat

  1. lradams86

    February 23, 2015 at 5:03 pm

    Sweetie, I want you to read these words and hear what I have to say.

    You are NOT making me unhealthy, nor are you making me fat. I cannot stress this enough or say it enough, but I am saying it because it is true. Yes I might have a gut, I have had one since Winter of 2007. Does it bother me? No it doesn’t, it is fine. Can I stand to maybe try to get a little of it off? Maybe, but if you ask me and you ask others, I am not overweight. The only person who thinks this is the health guru, the nurse herself.

    I KNOW the struggles with the medication and how it can contribute to health, I KNOW the struggles with eating and eating healthy. I was down that road before. You are not making me eat unhealthy, I eat as healthy as I can, and you know that…they know that too. They also know that you too, try to eat as well as you can whenever you can, especially when we are together. I am always bringing that up and I cannot stress it enough babe.

    And you are right, I shouldn’t have to feel obligated for any of that. The only reason I do any of those things is out of love. My mom has had struggles with her hand obviously, and has had health issues the past few years, mini strokes a while back, hence why I try to do as much as I can for them. They might think that I have to help out as much as I do because of this, and I do it because I want to help them out and have them off my back. Like I explained last night, Sunday dinner I know means a lot to my mom, and lately the family hasn’t had too many of them, that might be why she was a little rough, but she should understand that I also do not want to have them feel obligated to make an alternative and things like that if I don’t like the entree, or if you don’t.

    I will say this though. Sure, I might not like what my family has in terms of opinions, & I know with your family they do the same and it frustrates you as well, but I do respect their opinions and decisions. My parents are a part of my life and they are only trying to make sure that I am staying true to my regimen and to how I am eating. I do want you to understand that because we are good for each other, and we care for one another, and even in relationships we do have to have that bit of underlying respect for what our families are trying to do to help us along the way in terms of making good choices.

    I am reading a line over and over in this blog:
    “I don’t want his parents to treat him the way they treat me behind my back.”. Don’t say that, please, I don’t want to hear those words. How DO they treat you behind your back? Not once have they disrespected you babe, they have been open to you since they first met you. The fact you treat my sister as an equal means a lot to them. My mom and my dad do NOT hate you, and I want you to know that. They see how we treat one another and it means a lot to them (Also my mom KNOWS that I do not like being stuffed in that house constantly and understands why I try to get out as much as I do). I mean yes, maybe my mom DOES say things at the wrong time, but my mom is honestly trying to look out for both of us. She sees the struggle, she does understand and knows it can be rough. She does worry because she knows if anything did happen at a young age, her son would be devastated because she knows I care about you big time and what you mean to me sweetie. And for the record babe, they don’t think you are shit at all. Never once has that came out of their mouths.

    They don’t hate you, they do care about you.

     

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