I was on tumblr and saw a couple posts about talking to people about your passions. One talked about how sad it was that girls don’t usually do it without apologizing a lot because someone once told them that nobody cared. No one ever told me that nobody cared. No, I just knew that nobody cared. Because I grew up knowing no one liked what I liked. That I was a freak. Even among friends with the same interests, they didn’t offer time for me to go on some rave about what I liked or cared about. And to be honest, I didn’t really listen to them, either.
I remember one day, I was talking to someone about an original chacter of mine. I was so excited about her, but then I suddently stopped. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I get a little over-excited.” The woman I was talking to said I shouldn’t be sorry. She talked about how my eyes lit up and how wonderful it was.
I try to remember that, but I still don’t think anyone cares much. I never even bring anything up. I figure my book ideas, or explanations at least, are boring and people don’t want to hear about it. No one likes what I like. No one cares. People don’t want to hear it. They’re just being polite listening to me like they are.
So I guess that’s why I got used to keeping my stories inside. I don’t have this need to share my stories. I have no issue keeping them to myself. I am literally sharing them just because I want to profit from them. In more ways than one, of course. I want to actually be good at something. I want to believe that people actually do care about what I like and care about. I want a reason to rave about a character of my own. But if it were utterly impossible for me to do this, I wouldn’t be all too miserable about it. If I weren’t able to write . . . Well, maybe I would explode because I have so many feelings and opinions. But creatively? I’d be fine. Daydreaming gives me enough satisfaction.
Anyways, do you feel like you can share your passions with people? What stops you?