One of the Many Reasons I Hate Myself

13 Dec

Because I was babysitting tonight and the preschooler asked if I was pregnant.

“No, sweetie.”

“Then why is your belly so big?”

It’s not the first time a young child has made note of my fatness. And it devistates me. But obviously not enough to make me change my habits. Today, I tried so hard not to eat because I had to save my appetite for dinner with L. But I was really craving something soft to chew. Like a cupcake, or a soft cookie, or a PBJ sandwich. I’m saving the remaining cupcakes for L and me to eat together, so I opted for a PBJ sandwich even though I was beyond not hungry and, as I said, had to save my appetite. That was how badly I needed that sensory sesation. Whatever it’s called.

I had tried to avoid it. But you can only pet the dog for so long until it gets boring or even the dog gets sick of it. Or both.

Now, don’t go complaining about bad parenting or anything about these kids. It’s not their fault. They don’t know. They’re used to seeing average-sized people. Not fatsos like me.

1 Comment

Posted by on December 13, 2014 in Uncategorized


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One response to “One of the Many Reasons I Hate Myself

  1. lradams86

    December 14, 2014 at 6:06 am

    When it comes to eating hun, it is something we all must do. It is a daily ordeal in order for us to live we must eat (I’m sorry, it sounds like a quote from a zombie film but I can assure you it isn’t)

    There should be no shame to be who you are. Of course when we hear things from little kids, it does hit us hard, but there should be no shame. You try hard daily, I know you do. When we are together, you are always trying to eat healthy. Just remember, your doctor said you went down 20 pounds last time you saw the doctor, you are making strides and do not forget that babe!

    So you have a PB & J, so you have a cookie…it’s food. I mean heck, you know what I am eating right now at 6 am as I type this? Tortilla chips and honey roasted nuts! Never be ashamed to be who you are, or to eat what you want. Also remember, big is beautiful. Do not hate who you are, you are a very good person and remember that too <33


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