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I Doth Not Comprehend. NSFW

25 Nov

Having Asperger’s, there are things I don’t comprehend about other people. A big one is sex.

I’ve never had sex.

Not real sex. I fooled around with my bf once. That’s it.

So I’m reading this book, The White Queen by Philippa Gregory. Fantastic. I’m in love with it. It’s just that I don’t comprehend. Elizabeth Woodville met King Edward (III?), what?, yesterday? And they already wanna fuck each other? Like, what? You don’t even know each other! I mean, yeah, my libido gets a little excited when I see some guy that’s really hot or something (like L), or sometimes I’m just plain horny, but it’s not to the point where I actually want to get down and screw the guy.

And it’s not just in fiction, I’ve noticed. My friends, too. They know a guy for, what, a week, maybe? And they go on and fuck. Like, what?

And then there’s the people who fuck each other then go on to hate each other. Like, how do you do that? How do you get so close to the point of having sex, and then end up hating each other? I don’t understand!

Maybe there’s a difference because I’m one of the . . . two? . . . virgins I know. I mean, Elizabeth Woodville already has two kids at this point in the book. Maybe you’re generally a little “looser” about willingness to have sex with people once you’ve done it before.

But for me, I need to really know the person. And it’s not just for trust purposes. I trust L wholeheartedly. It’s just that I barely know him. We’ve been dating only four months. Not even six months.

Maybe it’s also because I’m not fully comfortable with myself sexually. L has, hopefully, figured this out. I’ve told him how this about sex disgusts me and that about sex disgusts me. But if things are done a certain way, I can still do it.

So I don’t understand how people are just up and going around and having sex. I don’t get it and I kinda wanna cry, cuz it’s like I’m understanding my Math homework. I’m banging my head against the wall trying to understand people and though I do have characters who do up and have sex like other people do, I can’t say I fully comprehend them.

Now I’m beginning to wonder if I really will never be able to have sex. Just because I have so many reservations. Ugh, I’m pathetic.

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2 Comments

Posted by on November 25, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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2 responses to “I Doth Not Comprehend. NSFW

  1. lradams86

    November 25, 2014 at 3:09 pm

    Wanna say something, but idk WHAT to say, but it won’t be said here though….

     
  2. lradams86

    November 25, 2014 at 6:04 pm

    I will say this though…L DOES understand that, and will. He isn’t the type of guy that will say that just to say it either, as the trust between us…I mean L and you, is already there. The fact that you want to know the person before doing it, makes me…I mean L (i’m sorry fellow readers, don’t mean to be speaking in 3rd person 😉 ) proud to be dating a feminist and a woman with the greatest of intentions.

    YES it’s only been 4 months (going on 5 next week 😉 ), and there is still a lot to find out about one another and explore. Getting to know someone in a relationship takes time, true dat. Patience, effort, time, trust, understanding…all keys.

    I do believe it was someone you know who once said there was someone who has the “patience of a Saint” in your life…and I do, I always will. You are worth dating, you are worth getting to know, and I like what we have built thus far, and there is plenty more to learn about one another and it will be worth every second to do so. I like this relationship hun and you 🙂

     

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