So… I kind of owe you guys an explanation. Heheh. The post before last, part 1, was more an explosion of feelings than an articulated blog post. Sorry about that. And then I forgot to go back and actually explain what it was all about. Sorry about that. So, here goes.
My room is a mess. It’s just one huge pile of shit. I use it all, but still. If I had anywhere to put my things, they wouldn’t be there. Truth, I have clothes on the floor when there is now room for them in my closet. At least, room for some of them. I just can’t get myself to clean my room. And my car’s usually the same way. (I had to clean my car, though, because it had to go in for a recall and get fixed).
My parents can’t stand my room (or my car). It drives them insane. And apparently just shutting the door isn’t good enough. So my dad took all my stuff and threw it in the garage.
So, yeah, I was pretty upset. So I went on to this facebook group for women with mental disabilities looking for some support after the fight. What do I get? “You’re twenty-four years old, you should grow up, get three jobs, and move out. They’re trying to tell you to move out. Most people your age have already moved out. I moved out at 18. I have two jobs and go to school full time with a mental illness.”
A couple people went and defended me, but that just killed me. And then I got a couple other people like her. “You should have just cleaned your room” and shit. Welll, as I said, I simply can’t get myself to clean my room. I’ve tried. Hell, I can’t even get myself to do laundry anymore. Like, wtf?
So I got really pissed. And I kinda went off on a tangent that isn’t exactly what was said, but I was sure what she would think. That I was priveledged, so I couldn’t complain. Because there was a part where she said something like, “you’re lucky you even have a dad. Mine’s dead and I never see my mom.” Well, that sucks for you. Doesn’t mean life with my parents is that fan fucking tastic.
What sucks more is I usually pay rent. Now, there is the excuse that I hadn’t paid rent at the time. I struggle with money a lot. I have a spending problem and my parents are very lenient with me because of that. But still, they’re my things. Yes, it’s their house, but am I not allowed to have anything that’s MINE in my living environment? That’s not OK. Especially since I usually pay rent and do pay my own bills.
Lesigh. This sucks. Anyway, that’s the explanation. Sorry it took so long. Please don’t leave hate. Thanks for reading.