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Don’t Do it

05 Sep

Never, ever, EVAR call 911 and say “suicide.”

I made that mistake last weekend.

My parents yelled at me over something stupid, I was in hysterics, couldn’t find any phone numbers, all I could think was “911 will give me a phone number.” Well, he tried to get me on with Lifeline, but the call dropped. So he sent an officer out who cuffed me and took me to the hospital.

My sister yelled at me.

My family doesn’t understand that I just can’t do things the way they do. I just can’t do it “the right way.” I have to do it a different way.

My therapist, doctor, and I think I have Aspberger’s.

My family gets on my case over things that don’t matter to me in the least. And I’m a grown woman (24 years old). So these things aren’t really that important. Now, if it were hygiene or something, yeah, that’d be important. But it’s thinks like shaving my armpits (I am NOT putting a razor to one of the most sensitive parts of my body) or cleaning my room. I just don’t care. I have other things to worry about. Like my spending.

I’m giving my parents all my money for six months. They’ll control everything. Hopefully that’ll break my spending. In six months.

Aspie ladies, how do I grow up? What do I need to learn so I finally stop thinking about just me and start thinking about my future and the well-being of my family? How do I handle life? How do I adult?

My sister tells me I need to get over what happened to me at school. She doesn’t get how badly it fucked me up psychologically. Like, really bad. Because of that, I no longer believe that I’m going to have a future. Not, like, I’m gonna die. More like, I’m gonna be in retail all my life. No family of my own or anything, either.

On top of everything else in my life (PCOS, familial habits, being a woman, etc.), having Aspberger’s makes it harder for me to lose weight, too. I like the taste and texture of the most unhealthy foods. Like pasta. Omg yummm~. But my therapist suggested some things to help replace that. Like, instead of just peanut butter sandwiches, throw some turkey in there, too. Look for healthy things that are soft and I can bite into them. Suggestions? Also, add cinnamon to sweet things. Will help slow the digestion.

That’s pretty much all we talked about. So, yeah. Fun times.

Life with my parents is hard. But it’s the best choice right now because I don’t know how to adult. What am I missing?

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1 Comment

Posted by on September 5, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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One response to “Don’t Do it

  1. lradams86

    September 6, 2014 at 9:50 am

    Hey babe, just saw this blog. Just remember I am here for you & I will talk to you about anything you wanna talk about. You got a boyfriend who cares about you & is an Aspie. We are dealing with similar stuff, and we can work on it as a team to figure it out together. I care about you and I will always take the time to be here for you good times or rough times

     

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