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I’m Coming to a Realization

08 Apr

I’m beginning to really realize how many people are out there. How many writers. Each and every one just yearning to be published. To be noticed. To be heard. I mean, my NaNoWriMo group has 113 people. And 90+% of the thousand+ people doing A-Z are writers. That’s just a fraction of all the writers out there. Most of them good and knowing what they’re doing.

What makes me think I’m so special? What makes me think I have the slightest chance of making it? Of actually being published? Ha! What a joke. I’ve never even been in a literary journal. I’ve never even been in a school’s journal. I’ve never been in anything, at all, ever. I’m so stupid, to think I could actually get published. No, I’m going to spend my life in retail. I’m such a loser.

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2 Comments

Posted by on April 8, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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2 responses to “I’m Coming to a Realization

  1. svaria

    April 8, 2013 at 10:52 pm

    Recently a writer came to my school and he was asked a similar question to the ‘why bother I’m not special’ mindset. He told us all that if we are writing to get published then we are writing for the wrong reasons. That aside it’s the second part that really got me and I think applies to you. He told us that we need to write. But not only that, that we need to write from the heart. When we truly sit down and write with everything we have, regardless of what others think, we have become a writer and we are unique, something special.

    I read your blogs, specially this one, because as someone who is suffering from severe depression I feel a sense of companionship with you. You know how it feels to feel all screwed up inside. To want to scream but not be able to. When I get really down and out I can look on here and I feel that someone out there understands and if only for a moment that feeling gives me exactly what I need. So writer and don’t stop. You might not publish but there is someone out there that is reading your words and their life has changed because of it. And that is beautiful.

     
    • Laitie

      April 9, 2013 at 7:28 am

      Thank you so much for this.

      The problem is I do write to get published. Real writers have a need to write. A need to share. I have no such needs. I have spent my whole life keeping my stories inside, because I knew other people would think them stupid. I have no problem keeping them inside. I -want- to share, now. I -want- writing to be my career. But there’s no need for it beyond my need to get out of retail. And I can’t not care about what others think. If no one likes what I write, why bother writing it? As I said, I have no qualms just keeping it all to myself.

      I’m so glad you feel that way, and I want to read your blog. I’m just so tired at the end of the day I barely manage to focus on writing, let alone reading on top of that. Thank you for being someone to read my words. <33

       

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