So, I went to a career counselor once. I thought he was a regular counselor to help with my depression, but whatevs. He told me to find some sort of writing mentor in my life to look up to and ask questions of. Well, I had no one like that in my life. Then came writeworld on tumblr. I became a contributor and the one admin, C, and I really got to know each other (on a professional, internet level). She became my new mentor. I even asked her and everything, haha.
Well, I told her today that the agent that was looking at my manuscript was not responding to my e-mails. And it was strange because she had responded to my first e-mail before. She told me (among other things) to distract myself with writing and sending out more queries. I said I will, but I didn’t tell her that I think my depression is what’s making it hard for me to write.
I love writing. Sometimes I really get in the mood to write. But at that same time, I really don’t want to write. It’s a sort of laziness I feel that I haven’t been able to overcome (yet?). Does that make sense? Feeling lazy a symptom of depression? My new therapist says she hates the word “lazy.” She calls it “lack of motivation.” I kinda like that. Because I kinda feel like I’ve stopped caring a lot, too. But kinda not, too. I don’t know. I’m confused.
Hopefully, this new therapist, whom I’ve only seen once so far, will be good. Hopefully she’ll know how to overcome my excessive laziness and my excessive spending habits. Did I ever tell ya’ll that? I have a spending problem. It’s really bad :/. But I am determined this time to do better. I’m going to stop spending.